Top-(N) ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars

1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

5. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you bought a car '95 or a car NT, but then you'd have to buy more seats.

6. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec, it's that way NOW!

7. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.

8. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

9. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands for years.

10. We would still be waiting on the "6000 sux 58'" model to come out.

11. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft Gas (tm).

12. Lee Iacocca would be hired-on as Bill G.'s chauffeur.

13. The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.

14. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass. The size would be licensed with royalties due to Microsoft.

15. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.

16. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

17. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.

18. There would be an "Engine Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.

19. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.

20. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

21. If you still ran old versions of car (i.e.. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

22. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.

23. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.